Always Been Paper Thin

I don't know why,
I now hurt so much,
I think I need to breakdown and cry,
And not go for a crutch.

I need to feel it,
Penetrating deeper than skin,
But to my emotions I emit,
I shouldnt be scared to sin.

It has seen this many a time,
And has been repeated again and again,
Maybe it is a sign,
That my skin has always been paper thin.

I thirst for the pulse,
To see myself bleed,
Watch myself convulse,
I just feel the need.

To fill the void,
For I know it so well,
My hope may be destroyed,
Only time will tell.

For it has seen this many a time,
And has been repeated again and again,
Maybe it is a sign,
That my skin has always been paper thin.

Now I go silent,
I will do it alone,
The outcome is indefinite,
As I won't pay attention to the phone.

Can I survive my will,
Do I care enough,
As my blood it spills,
Can I just call it a bluff?

And as I see it one more time,
Repeated again and again,
Maybe it is a sign,
That my skin has always been paper thin.