Nightmare

You look me in the eyes,
And you say your gone,
My hurt I can't disguise,
And I ask what I did wrong.

You stare at me some more,
And come around to say,
I just don't want you anymore,
I don't see why I loved you anyway.

How could my life become,
A life so drear?
What could I have done,
To save my tear?

Why does it have to end,
With everything I fear?
Is this my fault my friend,
That the outcome is so unclear?

You walk away,
Leaving me all alone,
Your hips you sway,
I should of known.

He takes you by the hand,
And I break right there,
Fall down to the land,
Why must life be so unfair?

How could my life become,
A life so drear?
What could I have done,
To save my tear?

Why does it have to end,
With everything I fear?
Is this my fault my friend,
That the outcome is so unclear?

I cry myself to sleep,
On a bed of nails,
They stab my back so deep,
Then a deep breath exhales.

I wake up and see,
You are still right there,
My beauty rests beside me,
It was but a nightmare.

How could my life become,
A life so drear?
What could I have done,
To save my tear?

Why does it have to end,
With everything I fear?
Is this my fault my friend,
That the outcome is so unclear?

You open your eyes,
And smile so wide,
You let out sighs,
And ask why I cried.

It was just a dream,
But it gave me a scare,
You were gone it may seem,
But it was just a nightmare.

Harmony Convos. We really have each others back. [:

Me being there. (:

Brandon says:
....
are you ok?
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
yea..
Brandon says:
what you just posted on your blog says otherwise.....
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
im fine.
Brandon says:
you sure? i am really concerned
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
i'll survive..
Brandon says:
i know
it just hurts me to see people like this
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
I'm sorry..
Brandon says:
people care
i feel you are lying to yourself
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
Or I just know what people realy think.
Brandon says:
-.-
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
I'm just pessimistic.
Brandon says:
harmony....
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
I vent sometimes.
Brandon says:
yea....
but believe it or not i am person, i care, and i dont hate you, you're not a bitch, and i infact want you here
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
makes one person.
Brandon says:
one person can make all the difference
do you think anyone really likes me?
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
i do.
Brandon says:
in real life now one does
no one
they use me
and when it becomes inopertune they turn their back
they dont give a shit
and that one person that actually is there
can make all the difference
it provides reason to be
your will
you let it stall
the air so still
i will catch your fall
your faltered smile
it brings me sorrow
i search for reconcile
in hope to fix it tomorrow
your blood
it spills
you let it it flood
the thought.... it kills
just close your eyes
you WILL find salvation
in your broken sighs
we will end this fixation
you can make it out
i know you can do it
i have no doubt
just never let yourself forefeit
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
what if i dont want to anymore.. what if i dont care, and i just.. can't handle anything anymore..
Brandon says:
no longer
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
what if i gave up long ago..
Brandon says:
will you suffer alone
you're only getting stronger
from these seeds that have been sewn
you really want to give up that easy?
i, myself, have said ive given up far too many times
in fact let me tell you
on st patricks day 2007
i had the biggest let down of my life
this girl...
i had loved her so much
and i found out she liked me two weeks previous
she was my light
i had longed for so long
i finally got the courage to go up and ask her what would have made my life complete
she told me she would think about it
an hour later i was walking up to my 6th hour class
right there
she was right next to the class
swapping spit with another guy
never had i felt so cold.
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
..that's heartbreaking.
Brandon says:
i lost all hope that very moment
i tried so hard to fight the tears
i couldnt..
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
what a bitch..
that hurts..
Brandon says:
that night
i laid in my bed
knife in hand
i had it up to my throat
i decided to give up on myself
and do what i felt was self-righteous
just as i started to press it against my neck i got a call
it was from her
she was worried
she knew how much i liked her
but she had previously fallen for him when she was in band camp
she didnt know how to break the news to me
she hadnt known my class was there
she talked me out of it
she is the only reason im alive today
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
woah.
Brandon says:
this situation is different, yes
but you should never give up hope
ever
and just the thought of anyone that does
brings tears to my eyes
reminding me of my own ignorance i posessed that day
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
it's so.. difficult..
Brandon says:
i know you are stronger then that
i know you can prevail
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
i know i can be too, but i just.. can't, anymore.
Brandon says:
but you have to have hope
i have faith in you
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
i dont know how you do this.
to me.
>.<
thanks..
it means alot..
Brandon says:
do what?
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
the whole.. story thing.. idk
you actually affected me.
Brandon says:
the thought of it brings me much depression
but i believe my own mistakes should be used to learn from
and if i think it can help someone
i grin and bear it
but seriously
other then her and you
no one knows about it
* harmony - Cause the view from below, gives me no hope, you know.. says:
people eventually learn to learn from their mistakes.. it's life. so we dont do the same mistakes & regret it even more.
really..
Brandon says:
just dont let yourself become what i was that day
i like you a lot, and if that happened to you, i seriously do not know what i would do
* harmony - Cause the view from below, gives me no hope, you know.. says:
I love how we just met yesterday..
And are already this close..
Brandon says:
this maybe
but one day can be the difference in your life
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
already is,
otherwise i prolly would've slit my throat or something already...
Brandon says:
i know you still arent through
but never give up hope
ever
i promise you this, until the day i die, you will always have at least someone who cares, ever so much, and is willing to sit down and make sure you know they have faith in you
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
okay..
Brandon says:
dont fall victim to yourself
you will prevail
i promise
now i need to sleep
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
okay


Harmony being there

Brandon says:
but i cant fucking pull this off.
* hαrмony ;; says:
yes you can
i believe in you, brandon sussex
Brandon says:
well thats one more person then should.
i dont even fucking believe in myself anymore.
* hαrмony ;; says:
i dont believe in myself either.
but i believe in you
and i know you can make it through
i promise you can.
you're a strong guy
you just dont know it .
Brandon says:
nor will i ever know it.
* hαrмony ;; says:
yes you will.
Brandon says:
i let myself be walked all over.
by any and everyone
weak willed.
* hαrмony ;; says:
then stand up for yourself for once.
it's easier to let yourself be walked all over i know
but dont let that happen
Brandon says:
after being trampled i lack the power.
* hαぢмony ;; says:
you'll get more strength once you get up from the ground.
Brandon says:
ever time i stand up the ground only crumbles below me and i fall farther.
the crutches tend to break underneath me
* hαrмony ;; says:
build a bridge.
Brandon says:
i try
and it collapses
* hαrмony ;; says:
built it stronger.
i'll help you build it.
i'll walk across it first to see if it's safe.
Brandon says:
harmony.... believe it or not, i think you are the only person who hasnt let me down really.
thank you.
* hαrмony ;; says:
everyone needs that kinda friend.
you're welcome.
Brandon says:
-hugs tightly-
* hαrмony ;; says:
-tackles-

Where We Belong

No one knows,
What tomorrow may bring,
Our fear it shows,
How we know not a thing.

We hold on too long,
To what used to be,
I wrote this song,
As a reminder to me.

That we need to castaway our flaws,
In order to let go,
Our aching hearts and broken jaws,
Go with the flow.

So take us away,
To the place where we belong,
Where we can seize the day,
And forever stand strong.

Where we know,
That all is just right,
Where a cool wind blows,
And we can see the stars at night.

Where we know we can rest,
Knowing that we are happy above,
Our hearts are the best,
Because they are entwined in our love.

Take my hand,
And we will erase the past,
This can be our final stand,
But forever it can last.

If we only live for yesterday,
There cannot be a tomorrow,
We will never be happy that way,
Only drown in our sorrow.

So please join my heart,
And see that we are all we'll ever need,
And I promise we will never be apart,
But we will end up wherever our love may lead.

So take us away,
To the place where we belong,
Where we can seize the day,
And forever stand strong.

Where we know,
That all is just right,
Where a cool wind blows,
And we can see the stars at night.

Where we know we can rest,
Knowing that we are happy above,
Our hearts are the best,
Because they are entwined in our love.

Just don't say you aren't able,
Because I know you can,
Together we can turn the tables,
And never have to face what had began.

Just listen to my voice,
And we can drift away,
It is your choice,
If you want to see a new day.

But remember our dream,
Where together we could be forever,
It is only possible if we work as a team,
It is now or never.

So take us away,
To the place where we belong,
Where we can seize the day,
And forever stand strong.

Where we know,
That all is just right,
Where a cool wind blows,
And we can see the stars at night.

Where we know we can rest,
Knowing that we are happy above,
Our hearts are the best,
Because they are entwined in our love.

I Hope This is What You Wanted

When all is said and done,
Then what will become of us,
Will we be looking down the barrel of a gun,
Will we be able to trust?

We can't turn back time,
And you will be so full of regret,
Trying to make you realize now is a crime,
But I know your actions you'll never forget.

Right now you feel it is right,
And it is what you wanted,
But after will you cry at night,
For your past will be your future haunted?

Become what you never wanted to be,
But I guess that is what you wished for,
I just wish you weren't so blind to see,
That it'll make her hurt that much more.

I don't mean to seem to know all,
But this I'm sure,
You're "love" for her will fall,
And for your mistakes I have not a cure.

This won't only make you cry,
I will fall twice as hard as you,
You still don't get that my life I try,
And your the reason I live life too.

But right now you feel it is right,
And it is what you wanted,
But after will you cry at night,
For your past will be your future haunted?

Become what you never wanted to be,
But I guess that is what you wished for,
I just wish you weren't so blind to see,
That it'll make her hurt that much more.

I just hope the old you wasn't a cost,
And she hasn't melted away,
For if the innocent you was lost,
I could not live another day.

I know people change a lot,
But they never lose who they are,
You were all that I had got,
And I can't lose my shining star.

But right now you feel it is right,
And it is what you wanted,
But after will you cry at night,
For your past will be your future haunted?

Become what you never wanted to be,
But I guess that is what you wished for,
I just wish you weren't so blind to see,
That it'll make her hurt that much more.

I don't care about myself a bit anymore,
I just can't until I bring the old you back to life,
And if I fail I have not the will to live for,
And my throat will find the knife.

Nothing Feels Real Anymore

I lost my motivation,
To care for myself,
Now I just feel the sensation,
Of putting me on the shelf.

But the cuts are never too deep,
So they all will heal,
Revealing scars in my sleep,
To show how I feel.

The scars are born,
From all the careless ways,
Where I make my skin torn,
From all these careless days.

Cause nothing feels real anymore,
And to express myself I can not dare,
Me I can't be caring for,
Because it is for you I must care.

I don't need to care what I want,
For that will get me nowhere,
Even if my mind it haunts,
And it won't ever leave there.

Pull back the skin,
To show how I feel,
Again and again,
To make me think I'm real.

The scars are born,
From all the careless ways,
Where I make my skin torn,
From all these careless days.

Cause nothing feels real anymore,
And to express myself I can not dare,
Me I can't be caring for,
Because it is for you I must care.

Bandages can hide my pain,
But for my pain I don't give a damn,
On my skin it is just a stain,
To show who I am.

Run from my light,
The dark has it's place here,
It is not worth a fight,
The dark is nothing to fear.

The scars are born,
From all the careless ways,
Where I make my skin torn,
From all these careless days.

Cause nothing feels real anymore,
And to express myself I can not dare,
Me I can't be caring for,
Because it is for you I must care.

Pull back the sheet,
To reveal the ending,
The story is complete,
To end this pretending.

Run from my desire,
It doesn't matter that I'm no longer real,
You have put out my fire,
So for what you want I can feel.

And nothing feels real anymore,
And truly about whats right for you I don't give a damn,
If you want it to end with you sore,
Then I must hide from you who I am.

I am locked away,
Nothing to worry about anymore,
I won't see another light of day,
For here comes the end that you prayed for.

Mistake

The hardest part is falling down again,
I'm a fool to just watch you walk away,
I am trying to tread water without being able to swim,
In the depths of our pool of decay.

You are falling deeper then you'd ever imagine,
And to say the least it is all my fault,
It is beyond my ability to sit and fathom,
Why I allowed this to become a result.

Anythings that's left is yours to keep,
I don't think I will ever wake,
All that's left is me in eternal sleep,
To pay for the most important mistake.

Burn

Look at yourself in the mirror,
You pathetic fool,
You cannot fight your fear,
And are just a simple tool.

You say you are alright,
So you can add liar to the resume,
You can't even write,
Let alone be okay.

Now go back to your stupid ways,
If you are lucky they will let you die,
Instead of putting up with these days,
And just breaking down into a cry.

You scream in silence,
But they will never hear you,
You have no reliance,
There is nothing you can do.

So worthless you are,
You will never save her so don't even try,
You don't matter for you are a far,
And you know she will just lie.

So let the blood flow,
From this big gash in your throat,
And let your love go,
So you can finally sink instead of float.

It doesn't matter anyways,
She will move on without you,
She will see better days,
Since she can do whatever she wants to.

You just weigh her down,
And keep her from living dumb,
So put on your frown,
And make yourself numb.

Numb from your own mistakes,
From which no one will learn,
You don't have what it takes,
To save her from this burn.

Left in Peace

Sometimes I wonder,
Why I'd rather live then die,
My whole life is a constant blunder,
I don't even know why I still try.

I can't take this anymore,
With all these pieces of my heart,
What am I fighting for,
It's only tearing me apart.

I love you to death,
I really do,
But I'm running out of breath,
And it is because of you.

I lived this once before,
It destroyed my life,
It left me living sore,
And added the knife.

And now I live,
Knowing that I let you down,
I fail at the one thing I'm meant to give,
And in my blood I drown.

Please just let me die,
Let my pain release,
Don't even cry,
For I will leave in peace.

Fearasaur

Run away, run away, run away,
A one of a kind being is coming,
Gotta say, gotta say, gotta say,
Don't stop a running.

Already know, already know, already know,
She's quite the beast,
Starting to show, starting to show, starting to show,
Her teeth to say the least.

Run to the hills,
Hide in the trees,
Before it kills,
Or brings you to your knees.

She has thirst for you,
You can hear it in her rawr,
There is nothing to do,
But beg for mercy from the mighty Fearasaur!

Listen dear, listen dear, listen dear,
Maybe she's not as viscous as she may seem,
Nothing to fear, nothing to fear, nothing to fear,
She is less a nightmare but more a dream.

Call her name, call her name, call her name,
She won't give you a struggle,
Play her game, play her game, play her game,
And if you're lucky you'll get a snuggle.

Run to the hills,
Hide in the trees,
Before it kills,
Or brings you to your knees.

She has thirst for you,
You can hear it in her rawr,
There is nothing to do,
But beg for mercy from the mighty Fearasaur!

Don't pretend, don't pretend, don't pretend,
That she isn't a beast so fine,
My bestest friend, my bestest friend, my bestest friend,
And she's all mine. [:

Castaway

Her dad was a drunk,
Her mom was an addict,
Their girls heart was sunk,
Locked in an attic.

Her only friend,
Was a little toy bear,
It was old and worn at the end,
And had patches of hair.

She always talked to it,
When no one's around,
She lays there and hugs it,
Without a peep of sound.

Until her parents so vain,
Unlock the door,
Some more and more pain,
She'll have to endure more.

A bruise on her leg,
A scar on her face,
Oh how she may beg,
In such a horrible place.

But she grabs her bear,
And softly cries,
She loves her parents because she cares,
But they want her to die.

She sits in the corner,
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why am I a loner,
And I'm always sinking? "

Such a bad life,
For a sad little kid,
She'd get beaten and see a knife,
For anything she did.

Then one night,
Her mom came home high,
And the girl was beaten out of sight,
As hours went by.

Then her mom took out,
A shiny new blade,
It was sharp and without a doubt,
One that she made.

She thrusted the blade,
Right in her chest,
The girl was so afraid,
Miserable at best.

The mom walked away,
Leaving the girl slowly dying,
She grabbed her bear that day,
And again started crying.

Police arrive a little late,
At the small little house,
Then quickly began to escalate,
Everything quiet as a mouse.

One officer slowly,
Opened a door,
To find the little girl lonely,
Lying dead on the floor.

It must have been bad,
To go through so much harm,
But at least she died not too sad,
With her best friend in her arms.

Changes

When it is change we face,
I know I'll run away,
So scared for my past to erase,
And the thoughts of forgetting a day.

Something keeps us holding on,
To every single tear,
Every promise broken we were leaning on,
All these mistakes so clear.

Have you ever felt like this within,
The pieces shattering in your heart,
Your being snapping beneath the skin,
Until you just fall apart.

Lines need to be drawn,
Changes need to be made,
The worse parts of this have come and gone,
And we need help to not fade.

These repeated mistakes,
Make us all sore,
And all the changes it makes,
For we are not sure anymore

We have to move on,
Before time is too big of a cost,
We can't be too far gone,
For we pay for every second lost.

Just let me guide you through this,
And I'll surely be there,
For your happy mood I miss,
And you know I care.

We all know there is something wrong,
I just don't know what I can do,
Just pat your back and say stay strong,
You know I'd do anything for you.

Exhale the Truth

Why can I not change,
Everything I hate about me,
Why can my thoughts not rearrange,
And make the me I want to see?

I know I can't be perfect,
But why must I be so far,
I don't feel it is worth it,
To just wish it all upon a star.

I can't let go of my excessive emotion,
I know because I've lost count of all the times I've tried,
There is not enough room in the deepest ocean,
To hold all the tears that I've cried.

This is more than a crack in the surface,
That needs to be filled,
All these mistakes without purpose,
With all this blood I spilled.

Just bury my head,
And hope to find a way,
Bury it in the red,
In hope to move on to another day.

Will I always hide,
From the true,
Will I ever find inside,
The me I want so cold and blue.

This boy in the mirror,
Is that really me?
Or is it a sum of my fear,
Making my eyes too blind to see.

Maybe change is in my fate,
For I am still in my youth,
In this next breath I create,
May I exhale the truth.

blahhhhh

Deep inside this heart a flame,
Is a soul lost in his depression,
He wants to call out your name,
But he has to learn his lesson.

I just wanted you to know,
That this I didn't mean to do,
I do not know how to show,
How will I break the news to you?

Not Your Playground

I welcome you here,
To this place full of dark and light,
There's nothing to fear,
And you can sleep sound tonight.

I let you here because I trust,
You to be gentle and set me free,
But listen close you must,
To the words coming from me.

This might be a new place,
That you want to explore,
And these tears once written on my face,
Are here if that's what your looking for.

This party is always going,
Whether I want it to or not,
My feeling within is showing,
And occasionally the outside shines while the inside rots.

But I trust you will stay in the light,
And through it you will grow,
Everything will be alright,
As long as you know.

That here you are safe and sound,
Just be careful from the start,
For this is not your playground,
It's my heart.

Once Upon a Love

They are so young,
The truth they don't know,
They share their tongue,
And they think they grow.

But then she cheated,
And it fell apart,
He laid there defeated,
Surrounded by pieces of his heart.

They used to smile at each other,
With their hearts floating high above,
They never thought they'd love another,
Once upon a love.

They were so happy together,
They thought it would never end,
Not everything lasts forever,
Including love my friend.

He just left her one day,
Since he didn't stand a chance,
He said he didn't want it this way,
For she didn't let him in her pants.

They used to want to soar,
Together on the wings of a dove,
But they were never anything more.
Once upon a love.

Why must love come to an end,
More often then it stays,
Why can we not comprehend,
That love often only lasts for days.

Perhaps we never did understand,
How love never was really there,
We were so caught up in holding hands,
That we forgot that love is more than care.

Love is thinking for that someone,
And never about yourself,
Just hoping they are the one,
That will take your heart off the shelf.

For they are happy how the feeling is "ours",
They want to be together when they are sent above,
And when they die their story will be written in the stars,
When it becomes once upon a love.

Your Disease

You have gone too far,
This is all your fault,
I'll take more than a wish upon a star,
To save you from this assault.

Say your final lines,
Before I take your life,
I will show the pain that binds,
Just watch the knife.

Friends stab you in the back,
But as your lover there is a better part,
Here you pay for the morals you lack,
As I stab you through the heart.

Bleed away for you were wrong,
You never guessed I'd call your failure,
You never thought I was this strong,
And could make this cut fit for a tailor.

You will not die here,
That would save you,
Instead you'll live in fear,
For all that you do.

Look me in the eyes,
And smile at me,
You fed me lies,
And now I'm your disease.

One Last Stand

In the worst of all your fears,
You now find yourself in tears,
As these words, they crash your ears,
She becomes the rust upon your gears.

You are left to wonder whats over the hill,
Whether a valley of sorrow, or a water so still,
To cross this ridge, do you have the will,
To find a way for this void to fill.

We all are sometimes sad, we all relate,
We all have had times when we made a mistake,
And these errors are our destinies picked by fate,
Which from our lives they create.

Chasing dreams, is like chasing cars,
We can't run that fast, and we are stuck behind bars,
But just look to the sky, and see these stars,
All of these, they could be ours.

We have plenty of time, according to the hourglasses sand,
So lets travel to a far off land,
It is so simple, just take my hand,
And together we will make one last stand.

Rain On Your Parade

How fake can you be,
You empty-hearted whore,
Now you are worthless to me,
Just a faker and nothing more.

I used to see you,
Through clouded eyes,
But now I know whats true,
And I see through your lies.

Cry the same alibi,
Time and time again,
All you want is to be high,
And live your favorite sin.

At the snap of a guy's finger,
You get on your back,
To take the bee's stinger,
For faith you lack.

So weak you are,
To sink this low,
It will never get you far,
For there's no place to go

Your favorite things to do
I can say without missing a beat,
It is so like you,
To lie, steal, and cheat.

And at the end of the trail,
You will pay for your mistake,
Haunted by your betrayal,
And you will learn the consequences of being fake.

Life is so fun behind the mask,
But this will be your last masquerade,
I love doing this last task,
Time to rain on your parade.

Paper Wings

Fly on these paper wings,
Travel to places you can't run,
See what the horizon brings,
Before these wings burn up in the sun.

They burn up so quickly,
And when the fire dies,
The cold makes you sickly,
And you fall from the skies.

You weep tears of sorrow,
As you lost your wings,
You think there is no tomorrow,
But for you I'll pull some strings.

There are more than one set,
Of wings that can make you fly,
You will feel better i bet,
After this cry.

You just need to find a sturdy pair,
Paper will burn, but feathers will last,
I will help you find these wings because I care,
But the search will not be fast.

So take my hand, and we will make this right,
You will have better luck, the triple seven,
We will start our search tonight,
For those wings to take you straight to heaven.

You Have My Heart

You cry out,
From this pain,
To feel better you doubt,
But I hope this isn't in vain.

Not as sweet as dessert,
These tears you cry,
But you won't feel so hurt,
If you try.

You have reason to smile,
Because someone loves you,
And he would travel mile after mile,
If he could just to be there too.

To hold your hand,
And say it is all alright,
Tell you that he couldn't stand,
That you're in pain tonight.

He'd kiss your cheek,
And say that he will stay there,
By your side through this pain so bleak,
For that much he does care.

But for now he can't,
He must wait from a far,
So he wrote this rant,
To remind you what you are.

You are his pride and joy,
And he wants for you the best,
For you are more than a toy,
And you hold his heart within your chest.

Don't ever forget,
That it only took a few days to start,
And he will never regret,
That you have his heart.

[:

Stir of the moment poetry, from when I first met Harmony. [:

Brandon says:
your will
you let it stall
the air so still
i will catch your fall
your faltered smile
it brings me sorrow
i search for reconcile
in hope to fix it tomorrow
your blood
it spills
you let it it flood
the thought.... it kills
just close your eyes
you WILL find salvation
in your broken sighs
we will end this fixation
you can make it out
i know you can do it
i have no doubt
just never let yourself forefeit
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
what if i dont want to anymore.. what if i dont care, and i just.. can't handle anything anymore..
Brandon says:
no longer
* harmony - I love to hate myself.. says:
what if i gave up long ago..
Brandon says:
will you suffer alone
you're only getting stronger
from these seeds that have been sewn

Devil's Work (really primitive. 3rd one ever wrote?)

In a world plagued by thoughts of hate and love,
We fall victum to these terrible things.
We are fooled by feelings from above,
All schemed up by the devil as he sings.

His songs of love and hatred slowly leak,
Attacking our emotions like a knife.
He makes us follow his orders to seek,
And go find the on needed for your life.

His deceptive ways make you try too hard,
Going after the one thing you can't have.
He continues his torture with his card,
Slowly tormenting you til your in half.

He almost has accomplished his prime goal,
To drive me to suicide for my body.
For without who he sings about, I've no soul,
He drives until it ends in tragedy.

As he slowly seizes control of me,
I slowly lose camaraderie with her.
She still hasn't been able to believe,
My strong love the devil casted for sure.

Now I am stuck under this stressful spell,
As he slowly propels me into hell.

Always Be Beautiful To Me

Into the mirror Toni-Raye peers,
Before she leaves to take on the city,
She sees is an average girl with dried tears,
To herself she is not pretty.

But it is such a lie,
For she is cute,
There is no reason to try,
To even dispute.

She can always try,
That her beauty she will not see,
But she can never deny,
That she'll always be beautiful to me.

And the beauty in her smile,
Is so bright that it blinds me,
And makes me refuse her denial,
For it is this beauty that binds me.

It awakens the butterflies,
That lurk within,
The beauty she just won't look in the eyes,
For she would have to start again.

But is there to embrace,
It will always be true,
Your beauty is beyond just a trace,
And it just adds to how much I love you.

Our Beginning Is Coming To An End

We all have a weakness,
That from time to time makes us cry,
Now I must ask for forgiveness,
So look me in the eye.

Sometimes I lose sight,
Of all the things I hold inside,
I find it hard decide if it is right,
For these feelings to hide.

I want you to know this,
I can't seem to keep secrets from you,
But I also risk your bliss,
When telling you what is true.

The sickness turns me into another,
You got to remind that I'm hiding,
Just say we'll always have each other,
And our trust needs not defying.

You know that I'm caving in,
It is so hard to identify,
I just wish we could be happy again,
I know we can if we try.

We can't always be winning,
For there always will be mistakes to mend,
And this is just our beginning,
Coming to an end.

So when something seems to dig at me,
Just say you'll be here no matter what I say,
If my problems you want to see,
I will no longer hide away.

No Longer Blurry

Feel the relief,
In this air I breathe,
Such a beautiful thief,
I do believe.

I was all tangled up in mind,
Could not hope for the best,
I searched for but couldn't find,
The worst seemed so manifest.

I didn't want this,
To worry all night and day,
To find out she was innocuous,
In every single way.

Everything is fine,
And now I just want to move on,
But it is hard to draw the line,
After so many days she was gone.

And as I let go,
Of that worry for you,
I need you to know,
That faith in you grew.

And through all this worry,
I realized that without you I feel incomplete,
My love is no longer blurry,
But rather on solid feet.

The Question of

I can not help but think,
In this air so cold,
I'm being pushed to the brink,
Of the regrets I hold.

I have nothing left to show,
To this world except,
My problems that I know,
And all the promises I never kept.

Why didn't I ever believe,
That empty words were not enough,
In my sadistic reprieve,
I am left with the question of:

Just who am I to live today,
So thrashed and scattered?
Is it really meant to end this way?
Have I ever mattered?

I Can Only Dream

I really want to be able to,
Erase all your fears,
And if I could be part of you,
I'd want to be your tears.

My birth may be sad,
It is where I would start,
Is it all that bad,
To be conceived in your heart?

The beauty within,
Brought out by lies,
Time and time again,
I'd be born in your eyes.

Happy I want you to be,
When sad I'll be within reach,
Me you won't see,
But I will live on your cheek.

And as I move down your face,
After your cry,
I meet me final resting place,
Where on your lips I die.

But I lived the happiest life,
I could ever wish,
Even though I couldn't be your wife,
It is your love that made it full of bliss.

Out of Luck

Just look at your reflection,
You knew it right from the start,
You tried to strive for perfection,
But now you're falling apart.

The look on your face,
You know you are beat,
This is not the place,
To fall from your feet.

You let yourself become,
Weak by your own fear,
You are now cold and numb,
You can see it in the mirror.

You feel so sick,
So nauseous and stressed,
Being torn down brick by brick,
And becoming depressed.

All your time spent,
Doesn't mean a thing anymore,
This pain you can't prevent,
To even the score.

You're so worthless,
So just give up,
Empty and hopeless,
You've run out of luck.