Story of My Fall

I sit staring at the wall all alone,
Saying I know you won't let me down,
Been at this for days, I should of known,
That in your lies I would drown.

Slowly this silence is killing me,
I'm breaking down and freaking out,
Pull my heart out for you to see,
What this is all about.

What will it take to make,
You know that I need you,
How long until I break,
How long until your promise rings true?

I'll make you wish you never left,
As pieces of me fall to the floor,
This will be my last breath,
I can't stand thinking of you anymore.

Such a beautiful lie,
This writing on the wall,
To run you can try,
As my blood paints the story of my fall.

Tainted Faith

The nostalgia I feel is so immense,
This longing for what once was,
Break down a wall just to rebuild a fence,
Take a hit just to find out it killed the buzz.

Reach for your hand just to trip,
Full of deceit was this simple design,
Into the crack I would slip,
Caught up in thinking you were mine.

The air surrounding me now is still,
Feeling so cold and alone,
One thing that a apology can't fulfill,
For this is tainted faith grown.

But I won't let me bury it,
No matter how tough it gets,
Face down I still marry it,
This heart never quits.

Feel these walls come crashing in,
As the ground pulls me under,
Stuck in my trench again,
But I can't help but wonder.

She is looking at me,
Awkwardly from over there,
Should I of known it wasn't meant to be,
Should I care?

The air surrounding me know is still,
Feeling so cold and alone,
One thing that a apology can't fulfill,
For this is tainted faith grown.

But I won't let me bury it,
No matter how tough it gets,
Face down I still marry it,
This heart never quits.

I should of known,
This wouldn't just blow over,
Love this feeling being all alone,
I'm just missing a leaf as a four-leaf clover.

The Wind Sings

Take off down the road,
There is a long way 'til the end,
It may not be paved in gold,
But at least we are together my friend.

Run down this trail,
Like a bullet tearing through the wind,
Together we will prevail,
Like our lips set a grinned.

See the sun rising,
Like the smiles on our faces,
Our minds are memorizing,
The future our silhouette embraces.

And goodnight past,
You have come and gone,
Once you put our hearts in a cast,
But now they are beating strong.

Let's just await,
To find out what is ours,
The night is our escape,
To lay under the moon and the stars.

The wind sings a song,
Of our travel through the years,
How even when weak we became strong,
Through obstacles and fears.

Watch the time pass us by,
But we don't care,
We never question why,
Cause it left with us there.

Cause there's still tomorrow,
Another day to have our fun,
Forget the sorrow,
And just be through the rain and the sun.

Until These Tables Turn

I hate how this is,
I always find a way to make you mad,
You rarely find bliss,
Compared to this rush of pain and sad.

Let's try to get this straight,
Will we ever just get along,
Speaking in tongues that incarcerate,
Our happiness can't stay strong.

I try to make everything right,
But it'll never be enough,
Trying to save friendship through the night,
Just gets you mad at the love.

We listen but never learn,
These lessons to not lose what we had,
How long until these tables turn,
But I guess trying to save is bad.

You so easily take my efforts as vain,
Nothing more than a selfish endeavor,
To try and help you must complain,
Because best friends shouldn't be forever.

We shouldn't be playing this game,
You two are only running from yourself,
"But she's not the same!",
Isn't enough to put it on the shelf.

I try to make everything right,
But it'll never be enough,
Trying to save friendship through the night,
Just gets you mad at the love.

We listen but never learn,
These lessons to not lose what we had,
How long until these tables turn,
But I guess trying to save is bad.

But we will never just get along,
From the past you just walk away,
You let friendship be come and gone,
And it will catch up one day.

So run faster with your pride,
No signs of slowing towards a curve,
You can run but not hide,
We will never get what we deserve.

A New Beginning

As we begin to fall apart,
We have to make a move,
This ending shall become a new start,
When our friendship we smooth.

We will create a path,
Starting at this dead end,
It is but simple math,
And together we conquer, my friend.

For it is what we do,
Building up these bridges together,
For with me and you,
We will do anything to make it last forever.

Easy it will not be,
Some might say it can't be done,
But have faith in me,
And this war will be won.

Forever and always was a promise,
Which I intend to keep,
For deep inside your still my bliss,
And without you I couldn't breath to weep.

So look me in the eyes,
We can make it through,
We will throw our worries to the sky,
Even if it's the last thing we do.

Follow Me

Walk to the edge,
To see if you will follow,
Is my trust worth the pledge,
Or is this relation hollow.

Burst into tears,
To see if you're there,
Show you my fears,
To see if you care.

Fall from the sky,
Will you catch my fall,
Is it worth the try,
Or are you not there at all?

Come closer to me,
So you I can hold,
Maybe you will see,
That it is not because I'm cold.

I'm afraid to want you,
Because I don't know how to feel,
What can I do,
But ask if this is real.

I sense the light,
Trying to reach me,
There is an angel in the night,
Who I desperately want to see.

Listen to the silence so calm,
Slowly easing my mind,
As the light I hold in my palm,
Washing the doubt behind.

And soon the rain,
Will wash away the doubt,
Wash away the pain,
And I will finally know what it is all about.

A Wake Up Call

Open your eyes,
This is a wake up call,
Erase the lies,
Stand up from the fall.

Explode across the thin line,
You aren't one to follow the code,
Intricate by design,
You are better then to fit the mold.

A still frame of the same,
You don't have to be bleak,
Don't wear society's name,
Don't be afraid to be unique.

When the rain falls down,
Dance in the rain,
When there is someone else around,
Go out and act insane.

You don't have to blend in,
No one wants to be dull,
Just pick yourself up again,
It is time to cull.

A still frame of the same,
You don't have to be bleak,
Don't wear society's name,
Don't be afraid to be unique.

Deafening silence fills the room,
Randomly yell and wail,
You are crazy they may assume,
But you bring upon a tale.

Sing a song of your own,
You don't have to follow canticle,
Who cares if you sing alone,
You aren't just another invisible.

A still frame of the same,
You don't have to be bleak,
Don't wear society's name,
Don't be afraid to be unique.

They may stare,
As you put society on the shelf,
To fit in you need not dare,
Just go out and be yourself.

Take My Heart

The first time we met,
You stole my heart,
Your voice I let,
Become my dreams start.

I could never impress,
There is nothing you could see,
And I would never guess,
That you'd ever love me.

Your smile made me silent,
To my heart it was a link,
I became reliant,
Even though I wasn't enough to even make you think.

In love I was stuck,
And somehow I knew,
That I had a little luck,
As faith in you grew.

And I felt it inside,
You were the sun,
Bringing life to the divide,
Where darkness once had run.

And then I finally told you,
As you wore that radiant smile,
Such a glorious view,
When you asked me to stay a while.

You took a stand,
And said "let's make a start,
I take your hand,
You take my heart."

Walk On Water

This is our chance,
To make everything right,
Take my hand and we'll dance,
Just me and you tonight.

And we will throw out our worry,
Forget our regrets,
The future will remain blurry,
Like our mystic silhouettes.

Just follow our feet,
Together we will walk on water,
Face to face we meet,
Like father to daughter.

And our smiles collide,
Breaking the still of the air,
Even the dark had to hide,
For only light would dare.

We lit up the whole sky,
Like we were a sun,
We just never asked why,
Standing in the wreckage of a job well done.

Let's Make Amends

Into the night,
So silent and broken,
We talk of this fight,
Harsh words are spoken.

Stuck in between,
I take all the blows,
Two best friends seen,
Soon become foes.

But they don't stop and ask,
Who hurts the most,
They are more worried about their task,
As I become toast.

This has gotten me more down,
Then anything before,
All I do is drown,
In the ocean longing for a shore.

But what can I do,
Only complicate the scene,
For once it is both of you,
Tearing apart my dream.

I stare down the barrel,
As your fingers you draw,
Collapsing in peril,
I fall without being saw.

You're just too busy,
Caught up on the shelf,
Don't even miss me,
As you think for yourself.

Now look at me,
And try to make amends,
Please try and see,
That you can still be friends.

Two Become One

I'm on the the edge,
Looking into the depths of the sea,
I plunge over the ledge,
As it all disappears before me.

And I just stare,
As the whole world slips away,
To question why I do not dare,
For I know my heart has gone astray.

I can hear the voices calling,
Listening to what they said,
Claiming that I'm not really falling,
But it is just in my head.

What is really happening here?
No one is around as I seem to plummet,
Where are these voices that I hear,
And what happened to the summit?

I cannot help but convulse,
On my way down,
Searching for the pulse,
To take on the ground.

But then I awake,
To you holding me so close,
It was you that had me a shake,
And you lost me almost.

I collapsed before you,
But you hit the floor first,
You knew what you wanted to do,
To catch me you had the thirst.

I was out for but a second,
You wanted to stop it all,
The tear in your eye beckoned,
As you dived under my fall.

You look me in the eyes,
But a word we will not say,
Just a smile screaming surprise,
As two became one that day.

Awaking From a Coma

I want to see the light,
That has been slowly slipping away,
I want to not cry at night,
When thinking of those days.

I want to be able to be fun,
Who I used to be,
But am I strong enough to run,
And become the old me.

Can I beat my emptiness,
That currently consumes my mind,
Will I be able to remember this,
Person I had left behind?

Can I change my name,
To change my persona,
I'm not the same,
Can I awake from a self-inflicted coma?

I've created a monster out of myself,
And sold my being to live another day,
I line up fourth and twelve,
In this pass I must pray.

Tonight I may not sleep,
I need to undo the stitching,
My mind needs to be changed so deep,
And this new me needs ditching.

I just hope my best is good enough,
Though I know it never is,
I know the road is long and rough,
I'm sorry if I don't make it out of this.

Finding a Reason

Through missing truth,
And endless lies,
We live our youth,
In broken cries.

Reaching so far,
With our arms too short,
We reach for a star,
Wishing as a last resort.

Hoping to become more,
Then just another mistake,
We wish to know the reason for,
Our life in this reality so fake.

If we chase the sun,
Will we ever reach it's shine?
If towards the light we run,
Will its radiance become mine?

Or will we just burn up in it's heat,
Melting away our soul,
May it's beauty be no more then deceit,
With it's harmful glow.

Either way we will look,
We will find the reason to be,
And we will write in this book,
About the truth we did see.

Happiness comes from each other,
For in ourselves we are free,
Your my sister, I'm your brother,
And happiness is knowing that it is all about you and me.

Kill the Fear

Wake up in the middle of the night,
Soaked with fear in your bed,
Something you know is wrong but you fear is right,
Is the image within your head.

A brutal picture is inscribed in your mind,
Of an event you fear will take place,
In your dreams you've come to find,
A game of failing face.

You know it is fake but can't let go,
Of all these visions that haunt your sleep,
They won't leave even though you know,
That those promises I will keep.

You must face your fear,
For them to leave,
To your eyes they may seem drear,
But you have no reason to grieve.

Reach out your hand,
And take mine to save my life,
When I knock you down take a stand,
And remove from my hand the knife.

It is the best way,
To conquer these images that haunt you,
To know you'll prevent that day,
When you face the things you do.

The Broken Word

I'm looking in your eyes,
As you slowly fall apart,
Fed upon past lies,
How they almost stole your heart.

You break out in tears,
Knowing you believed it all,
The truth had been your fears,
And you began to fall.

The saddest story ever told,
Repeats once again,
When love is a lie they may behold,
You wonder why you let it begin.

Reminds me of my past,
Finding hope in the lies,
Love only will last,
If truth holds its ties.

We are one and the same,
And know how it may feel,
But whenever I say your name,
Remember ours is real.

How It Feels

In that moment I felt complete,
Upon knowing we felt the same,
Any pain became so obsolete,
When you said my name.

I paused for just a moment,
And my heart skipped a beat,
For her my heart had known it,
But knowing she felt the same took me off my feet.

Nothing has ever felt better,
And nothing is more worth it,
When you spelled out those letters,
For once I felt perfect.

And when I laid in bed,
All I did was smile,
I giggled a little and said,
"So this is what makes life worth while".

And I'm head over heels,
For I know it is true,
You have no clue how good it feels,
To see you say I love you.

Awh [:

Toni's so sweet. [: <333

When the Begininning Becomes an End

"I know this hurts you,
But I feel like I must,
It is what I do,
And in you I trust.

I miss my days as a kid,
When the world was flawless,
But I grew up in a skid,
And I want to again be careless.

I want her so bad,
Is it a crime to be in love?
I know it may make you sad,
But to me it is a blessing from above.

I do this for me,
God helps those who help themselves,
This is who I want to be,
Even if it hurts yourself."

I know you want this,
And think this is meant from above,
But just because you feel it in her kiss,
Doesn't mean you're in love.

Careless is what you have become,
To act young you're in such a hurry,
It has became your custom,
To be too young to worry.

But you still are a kid,
Even though the world has changed,
And all the ways you did,
Just left the true you disarranged.

I know you never will believe me,
Because you convinced yourself that you're right,
But this just isn't meant to be,
And I'll stick by that as long as I am in the light.

I know where this will end,
With you hurt where you breakdown and cry,
I hate to tell you my friend,
But when it does happen I will die.

I am just dragging you down anyways,
So I guess it won't be too bad,
You'll see better days,
When I am not around to be sad.

What is Love?

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
-it isn`t love, it`s like.

You can`t keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right??
-it isn`t love, it`s lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
- it isn`t love, it`s pride.

Do you want them because you know they`re there??
-it isn`t love, it`s loneliness.

Are you there because it`s what everyone wants??
-it isn`t love, it`s loyalty.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand??
-it isn`t love, it`s low confidence.

Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don`t want to hurt them??
-it isn`t love, it`s pity.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat??
-it isn`t love, it`s infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them??
-it isn`t love, it`s friendship.

Do you tell them every day that they are the only one you think of??
-it isn`t love, it`s a lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake??
-it isn`t love, it`s charity.

Do you disregard yourself and don't care what you want at all, only what they do??
-it isn't love, it is caring

Do you feel you can't live without them??
-it isn't love, it is dependence

Do you never want to be without them??
-it isn't love, it's obsession

Do you accept and want their faults because they`re a part of who they are??
-then it`s love.

Meh.

Have you ever felt like this,
When a day starts good and ends with hopes to be dead?
You may re-encounter someone you miss,
But you won't be able to go on until you bled.

You know it will only get worse,
But I have to step aside,
I must live with this curse,
Even if kills me inside.

I will support you,
But myself will fall,
I don't know what to do,
When my will isn't left at all.

I can't try to control,
Just watch and bleed,
Even if the blades dull,
It is all I'll need.

I hold regret,
Towards the ones who care,
But I can't forget,
How her ways will tear.

I only live for you now,
I can't leave you behind,
I don't know how,
I will ever take back my mind.

Just go back to my ways,
To keep me alive,
I won't live again for these days,
Instead I'll just survive.



I deserve it. Fuck it. I'm meant to be this way I guess.

Toni-Raye's Anniversary Poem

Two months have gone by,
Since the first day we talked,
It started with your hi,
And led to talking about you getting stalked.

It took but a few days,
For me to like you,
I guess it is just your ways,
And the same things that we do.

Let go of the mad,
And in with the new,
To meet you I am glad,
And I have fallen in love with you.

So many attempts we’ve had,
At staying up all night,
When it comes to staying awake you are bad,
And never see the break of daylight.

One time you went to the pool,
And texting me took a stop,
I found it kind of cool,
That you lost your top.

I didn’t get to see,
But I still got a good laugh,
It was funny to me,
Even though it happened to my better half.

But most important of all,
Is we have come all this way,
An anniversary you may call,
This special day.

For now I love you,
And you like me,
Through this time we’ve grew,
And together made so many memories.

So happy anniversary to my girl,
And I have a lot to hope for,
Toni, you are the best in this world,
And I wish for us to see many more. :]<333

Lily's Birthday Poem

Happy birthday,
To the one and only Fearasaur,
Nineteen weeks and I must say,
First time you’re the big one four.

Phail frog is quite strange,
With her addiction to excess butter,
Who over time has changed,
But I still love her.

We party in the tub,
Everyday baby,
It is our own little club,
Where we all act crazy!

She acts all black,
But at her heart she is not that way,
In the future she might wear white and slack,
As a member of the KKK.

And as she grows old,
We will travel all around,
To places far from cold,
Where awesomeness can be found.

But until then she will just chill,
Waiting for her time,
Where rap she will,
To her favorite rhymes.

And when we meet,
We will go crazy,
Our lives will be complete,
And for a few days we will be less lazy.

Sleep is her passion,
And for naps she always finds time,
It is her favorite fashion,
And our group naps are mine.

But I digress,
I’ll send you on your way,
But I wish for the best,
And that you have a great birthday. [:

Not For Sale

The perfect crime,
Our hearts unlock these doors,
You steal mine,
And I will take yours.

We come to find,
Them trying to tear us apart,
They may change our minds,
But they can never change our hearts.

They can not stop us,
Together we will always prevail,
For in each other we trust,
And our love is not for sale.

We may be young,
But we aren't dumb,
As long as there is air in our lungs,
They won't make us numb.

For we believe in love,
And we will stay together,
As long as our hearts feel above,
We will be forever.