Heart Beating Cold

Now who are you?
You're acting like a stranger,
Where's the girl I knew,
You were my dream, my savior.

The future had hope,
All that could of been,
It would of been easy to cope,
If it was never for him.

But look at me now,
You left me with nothing to hold,
Not a seed left to sow,
And a heart beating cold.

It's barely beating at all,
Built me up, but now strength is no where to be found,
Pushed me off now watching me fall,
Made it so waking up is more like waking down.

The beautiful rose was in bloom,
But only thorns remain,
He has the petals I presume,
While my blood pools to stain.

But look at me now,
You left me with nothing to hold,
Not a seed left to sow,
And a heart beating cold.

I lay alone,
Tried counting sheep,
But I can't find home,
And can't find sleep.

Where did you go off to?
The answer needs not be said,
You ignore my pleas for you,
Your between the sheets in his bed.

But look at me now,
You left me with nothing to hold,
Not a seed left to sow,
And a heart beating cold.

This isn't you, what is wrong?
I plead to you but you don't listen,
My soul is empty since you've gone,
My body has become my prison.

So I force my way through the day,
Just for hope of something new,
Even if it is not okay,
I do it all for you.

Limited Print

This book is limited in print,
In fact there's only one,
I want to keep you innocent,
It isn't easily done.

I've loved it from the start,
But you weren't made to please me,
If I had any other heart,
Letting you go would be easy.

But I don't have that fortune,
Instead I fear that day,
Of my worry you hold more than a portion,
All of it hopes from there he stay away.

Unfortunately I can't meddle in this affair,
I have to stay behind,
Left to worry of losing you there,
The last of my dreams rests on this line.

Back in the Day

Open the box,
A time capsule from youth,
Various toys, objects, and rocks,
A bittersweet taste of truth.

Looking at life back in the day,
When we got over things with ease,
Our sense of wonder couldn't be taken away,
We were so easy to please.

Death was only temporary,
And sorrow so simply was forgotten,
A cheap toy could be exemplary,
Now that sense is spoiled rotten.

Our emotions were so more mellow,
And we had not a care of affection,
Back when all we had to fear was snow colored yellow,
The best days of my life in my recollection.

Now emotions are impossible to take,
And affection is what I need the most,
I have to now fear every decision I make,
These worst days of my life are leaving me comatose.

Our Curse

You told me at the start,
That the future is haze,
And you left me with a broken heart,
The hope just never stays.

No one cares for the hopeless,
Just like no one pities the convict,
They just focus on the precious,
While we drown in the spit.

The promises of yesterday,
The fruits of all the love I used,
Are broken for him today,
For your crime I'm accused.

Yet I crawl back,
'Cause I need you,
Of backbone I lack,
I swear it's nothing new.

I wish I could steal your heart,
But you stole mine first,
Tore it apart,
It is now our curse.

When Only Pain is Sound

I'm getting tired,
Hating all I've known,
The aesthetics I've admired,
Is blocked by walls of stone.

Do I knock it down,
Or do I cave in?
When only pain is sound,
Do you push it all-in?

After all I've been through,
It's time to change end to begin,
I need something new,
I'm picking up the pieces and starting again.

I push onwards to fight,
Not to live but to strive,
It is wrong yet it feels right,
Will I make it out alive?

I'll Change

I hope your listening,
To everything I'm saying,
The way your image is glistening,
The love I own I now am paying.

I miss it all,
The way you'd nudge my arm,
The late night phone call,
Used to make me feel away from harm.

But I'll change my heart,
My name and reverse the end,
If it means I get a new start,
And can still be your best friend.

Bury Me, I'm Useless

"Move on, you lost,"
Yet I can't let go at any cost,(I'm not cheap)
She almost is in love with him,
The light at the end of the tunnel is past dim. (for light I weep)

It's burnt out,
Like a field during drought, (there is no rain)
He took my wife, my name,
And now me and her feel the same. (it's driving me insane)

Both of us feel this way,
Happiness never will see the light of day, (locked up tight)
My hourglass's sand is running dry,
And my heart is not a fan of goodbye.(to stay feels more right)

I guess I had my chance,
At happy romance, (I guess I'm only a joke)
But like always I came up short,
My hope's and dream's mother chose to abort. (they're up in smoke)

I try to catch my breath,
But there's no air left, (my lungs are failing)
I've become so weak,
I can not speak. (communication isn't smooth sailing)

I can't find will,
In anything outside of pill, (difference in the dose)
The morning is drawing near,
The end is almost here. (I have hours at most)

How can I relax at home,
When home is gone and I'm all alone,(in an empty room)
The silence consumes my soul,
The fight in me is stole. (I feel the doom)

It's so cold that I'm shaking,
By these thoughts I am making, (I'm out of touch)
Your head on his chest,
Himself between your breast. (it hurts so much)

The American dream,
Tearing apart at the seam, (it once was vivid)
And I don't know what to do,
It is me, it isn't you. (I am just livid)

As the blood floods up to the hip,
I taste misery while you taste his lip, (how does it taste?)
Brandon's got a new blade,
To it he's a slave. (his blood is a waste)

Carving him to bone,
Empty useless carcass all alone, (always wasn't worth the time)
What did I do to deserve,
To be kicked to the curb? (falling in love is a crime)

I don't wanna be in love anymore,
Where is the girl I still adore? (to me she was perfect)
The innocent girl is headed towards whore,
While I'm displacing tears on my lonely bedroom floor. (is the pain worth it?)

You had my heart,
And you ripped it apart,(smashed it into pieces)
Over and over you broke me,
Now end it, please choke me. (asphyxiation releases)

The memories are using me,
While the love is abusing me, (in a stranglehold)
The feeling you use to show me will never leave my mind,
The memory of our future, pushes me into the casket you leave behind. (heart left cold)

Lost at Sea

You are slowly disappearing,
I disregard the lies I'm hearing,
All that you plead is wrong,
All that you feel is gone.

Happiness ran away,
On that dreadful day,
You search for faith in his desire,
Looking for warmth but can't find fire.

As you swim to the thunder,
The waves sweep you under,
Gasping for breath,
But there's no air left.

The wind drags you further,
Lost the will as loneliness grows stronger,
Lost the will to return to shore,
And find safety like before.

The tide is getting steeper,
And your actions plunge you deeper,
Lost in the sea of all that you knew,
Ocean floor concealing what's left of you.

For a home you long,
Led wayward by siren's song,
The peace and safety you expect,
Has become an inherent loss of self-respect.

All that you plead is wrong,
All that you feel is gone,
I won't turn my back on the blue,
I'll save what's left of you.

I won't lose you to Davy Jones,
There's more to you than skin and bones,
I won't let you be lost at sea,
You're all that's left of me.

But only failure did I bring,
Now all that's left of me is nothing.
Failure, all that I know.

My Own Way

Alienate those not the same,
Worship a higher power,
Leave them without a name,
At their pride devour.

The great uniter,
Dividing the camaraderie of man,
The conversion fighter,
Trying to undiversify the life plan.

Stand in line for your savior,
Praying just to feel safe-tay,
A greater power of a bland flavor,
I'll go my own way.

I won't kneel and bow my head,
Faith in a dictator king,
I'll live for love instead,
I can save myself from Hell's sting.

Life can fall apart,
A true God wouldn't allow pain,
Faith is for the faint of heart,
And manipulators of brain.

So believe than,
If it makes you feel safe-tay,
But all I can plan,
Is to go my own way.

I'm Just Learning

I say it so clear,
But I see it in your eyes;
My voice you can't hear,
For fear of lies.

I'm opening up to you,
But the efforts not so good,
I brought my heart to view,
But you misunderstood.

I scream for attention,
I need your glance,
Not gonna mention,
That I have not a chance.

Over and over I cannot believe,
That I'll ever get a shot,
I stand in line but watch you leave,
My heart is yours, a sacrifice never bought.

You leave my dreams burning,
I'm just learning...

My stomach is churning,
But pain is just learning...

The tables aren't turning,
Am I just learning..?

For your lips I am yearning,
I hope you're learning...

That I am the only one,
Who feels this way;
You aren't a trophy to be won,
You are the pacemaker making me stay.

What's Worth Fighting For

I know when to start a war,
In the arms of what I once knew,
I know what's worth fighting for,
And that is a chance with you.

I'll leave behind my other ambitions,
To polish my laid to rest gun,
And make the transitions,
Necessary to fight for one.

I'll fight to the end,
Facing death if I must,
I might break, I might bend,
But in your heart I trust.

I'll hope and pray for victory,
Even though God I do not believe,
I'd do anything to break us free,
Even if my lack of faith I must relieve.

The battle field is not a pretty sight,
But there is always a price for desire,
For what we really believe we must fight,
Our hearts beat to our inner fire.

To compete we reach for the sky,
I"m telling you I won't give in;
Of my will to trudge on don't ask why,
I will always fight to live in your arms again.

Longing for the Horizon

Spinning out of control,
I've been far from a roll,
I want it so bad,
To love you as all I had.

I want you to be mine,
Always knew you'd leave, fine;
Still I dream of your touch,
But to you my love isn't much.

Sunshine is faded,
But he is paraded,
The taste you cannot bare,
So only touch can fair.

The morning sun is gone,
All right is wrong,
Dark has consumed the light,
My sanctuary now wrapped in night.

I long for this to change,
A life to rearrange,
Empty is my fuel gauge,
Trapt in a cage.

A cage of your grasp,
Barely holding your clasp,
Waiting to find your place,
While I wait to caress your face.

Blinded by the dark,
Thirsting for a spark,
I long for your horizon,
Ever since my sun stopped rising.

Drip Drop

If this is life,
I'm better off dead,
Blood baptized knife,
By those words said.

I've done all in my power,
To reach your hand,
A sweet taste gone sour,
Isn't life grand?

Promises never meant much,
Rules broken leave me sore,
Traditions practiced are such,
Leaving my heart on the floor.

Broken pieces litter my eyes,
Forgotten words for him to pierce,
A morbid chaotic lullaby,
Haunts my thoughts so fierce.

I knew from the start,
that you lived for ignorance,
You stole my heart,
But he stole your innocence.

Tick tock, tick tock,
Will you come to see?
Drip drop, drip drop,
Stop before blood buries me.

Tick tock, tick tock,
Time is running true,
Drip drop, drip drop,
All this pain for you.