Burning Inside Me

I hate feeling like this,
I know that I should not feel this way,
For the reasons not there is an endless list,
But yet they never fail to stay.

These feelings thrive within,
This fire is far too hot,
My ability to hold it back is wearing thin,
It is much harder than I ever thought.

I am scared to death,
That I will ruin it all,
These feelings leave me without breath,
I can't learn to walk until I learn to crawl.

My balance is gone,
I can no longer stand,
I will not see another dawn,
If I cannot hold your hand.

I am so pathetic,
To you I will never be more,
With your smile so aesthetic,
That will shine evermore.

I am just another one,
That is not worth holding,
Might as well grab the gun,
And let it give me scolding.

I'm so sick of trying,
To seem like I am happy too,
Truly inside I am crying,
Longing to hold you.

Will you please just notice me,
I wish I would just cross your mind,
The waves are now dragging me to sea,
By you I know I will be left behind.

I know I will always love you,
More than I will ever be able to show,
Living without you is hard to do,
So much harder than you will ever know.....