Even If I'm Not Okay

It's three in the morning,
And your response hit without warning,
Maybe you're right,
But it doesn't feel so tonight.

I wander through the cold,
In a stranglehold,
Looking for the answer to my feeling,
Why couldn't it stay concealing?

You still haunt my dreams,
Tearing them apart at the seams,
How can I sleep when I'm afraid,
In the dark the light did fade.

I've come to find that I was right,
That feeling wasn't born in trite,
And rejection isn't good in health,
You make it hard to be honest with even myself.

But I'll say I'm okay,
Even if I'm not okay,
Because our friendship is all I have left to lose,
I hate when between you and my heart I must choose.

This charade will never last,
Within my walls I'm repeating past,
If I understand do not ask,
Just pick the poison and pour me a glass.

I'll do anything to prove it true,
To make you believe that all I want is you,
That beyond my skin and bone,
I don't want to live with my heavy burden all alone.