Exhale the Truth

Why can I not change,
Everything I hate about me,
Why can my thoughts not rearrange,
And make the me I want to see?

I know I can't be perfect,
But why must I be so far,
I don't feel it is worth it,
To just wish it all upon a star.

I can't let go of my excessive emotion,
I know because I've lost count of all the times I've tried,
There is not enough room in the deepest ocean,
To hold all the tears that I've cried.

This is more than a crack in the surface,
That needs to be filled,
All these mistakes without purpose,
With all this blood I spilled.

Just bury my head,
And hope to find a way,
Bury it in the red,
In hope to move on to another day.

Will I always hide,
From the true,
Will I ever find inside,
The me I want so cold and blue.

This boy in the mirror,
Is that really me?
Or is it a sum of my fear,
Making my eyes too blind to see.

Maybe change is in my fate,
For I am still in my youth,
In this next breath I create,
May I exhale the truth.